THIS IS NO JOKE- A HARD PENIS = A HEALTHY HEART!

Scientist all agree, if your sex tools are functioning well, you are virtually guaranteed to have a healthy heart and good circulation and when your circulation is working, it is safe to assume everything else is probably okay too. Hey! I'm not a doctor, but based on my own experience and medical checkups, this statement is pretty darn accurate.

Naturally, it wasn't always so, this is why I'm sharing my firm secret with you now. What took me months and several dollars to find out, is now available to you, at the low-low price of  ZERO!!! that's right, ZERO cost. Why the hell should you pay me for something I needed myself and had already benefited by?

I'm just sick of it! These bleeding hearts spin you their wonderful journeys to health and happiness, then just when you thought at last, here is a decent guy, willing to offer you a free leg-up, BAM! he kicks you in the nuts, when his greed sets in, and he charges you for digital information he had already benefited by.

 It’s a take-off on the Vagina Monologues, in the process our aspiring playwrights decided to compile a list of synonyms for the word penis to use while writing. It appears that  the word “Penis” may have more synonyms than any other word in the English language, 175, to be exact. If they missed any, please leave the missing penises in the comment section below. Admittedly, some are a bit obscure but a penis by any name us still a “deep-V-diver”. Here ya’go:

Adolph

Albino Cave Dweller

baby-arm

baby-maker

baloney pony

beaver basher

beef whistle

bell on a pole

bishop

Bob Dole

boomstick

braciole

bratwurst

burrito

candle

choad

chopper

chub

chubby

cock

cranny axe

cum gun

custard launcher

dagger

deep-V diver

dick

dickie

ding dong mcdork

dink

dipstick

disco stick

dog head

dong

donger

dork

dragon

drum stick

dude piston

Easy Rider

eggroll

Excalibur

fang

ferret

fire hose

flesh flute

flesh tower

froto

fuck rod

fudge sickle

fun stick

gigi

groin

heat-seeking moisture missile

hog

hose

jackhammer

Jimmy

John

John Thomas

Johnson

joystick

junk

kickstand

king sebastian

knob

krull the warrior king

lap rocket

leaky hose

lingam

little Bob

little Elvis

lizard

longfellow

love muscle

love rod

love stick

luigi

manhood

mayo shooting hotdog gun

meat constrictor

meat injection

meat popsicle

meat stick

meat thermometer

member

meter long king kong dong

microphone

middle stump

Moisture and heat seeking venomous throbbing python of love

Mr. Knish

mushroom head

mutton

netherrod

old boy

old fellow

old man

one-eyed monster

one-eyed snake

one-eyed trouser-snake

one-eyed wonder weasel

one-eyed yogurt slinger

pecker

Pedro

peepee

Percy

peter

Pied Piper

Pig skin bus

pink oboe

piss weasle

piston

plug

pnor

poinswatter

popeye

pork sword

prick

private eye

private part

purple-headed yogurt flinger

purple-helmeted warrior of love

quiver bone

Ramburglar

rod

rod of pleasure

roundhead

sausage Salami

schlong

schlong dongadoodle

schmeckel

schmuck, shmuck

schnitzel

schwanz

schwartz

sebastianic sword

shaft

short arm

single barrelled pump action bollock yogurt shotgun

skin flute

soldier

spawn hammer

steamin’ semen truck

stick shift

surfboard

Tallywhacker

Tan Bannana

tassle

third leg

thumper

thunderbird 3

thundersword

tinker

todger

tonk

tool

trouser snake

tubesteak

twig (& berries)

twinkie

vein

wand

wang

wang doodle

wanger

wee wee

whoopie stick

wick

wiener

Wiener Schnitzel

willy

wing dang doodle

winkie

yingyang

yogurt gun

So, without any further ado, here is my free:

 HEALTHY WILLY=HEALTHY HEART

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